Black Halo’s debut album, Utopia, tells the story of two people struggling with the promises of the internet age to bring us all together and the reality of it tearing them apart.
Story by Randy Ellefson.
The album opens with an unnamed, troubled young man (John Doe) loving the potential for the internet and technology to bring people together (“Utopia”). But the connections are increasingly shallow and make him feel more alone. An unnamed woman (Jane) is his only connection. Misinformation is driving people apart instead of together (“Reality Distortion Fields”) and he sees media and political figures worsening this by playing on fear (“The Core”). His disillusion grows when an anonymous perpetrator uses personal information he shared on social media to create a deep fake video that destroys his reputation (“The Synthetic”).
Rather than genuinely helping him, others patronizingly tell him “it gets better” (“Upon Deaf Ears”). Haunted by nightmares, he reaches out to Jane for support, and while she provides it, she won’t confide her own demons to him (“Run Away”). He fears this will drive them apart, and that her drug use is a dangerous alternative (“Darkness Falls”).
That fear is realized when he finds her dying from an accidental overdose, during which she confesses to being a survivor of childhood incest, her shame having kept her silent (“In Death I Linger On”). At her funeral, he struggles to find meaning in their struggles, and that night, he dreams of her ghost coming to take him with her (“The Wake”).
Overcome with despair and isolation, he attempts suicide (“Sign Language”). During the resulting out-of-body experience, he sees loved ones grieving him and realizes he just hadn’t seen their connections all this time. Regretting what he’s done, he still isn’t sure if he should come back to life or join Jane in the afterlife (“Two Lights Beckon”). The album ends with him still in limbo.
Music by Ellefson/Breedlove. Lyrics by Breedlove/Ellefson
Verse
I can’t believe my eyes
The dream has come alive
Walls have crumbled
Barriers have fallen
We now stand as one
Revolution has begun
Babel’s legacy is overcome
Pre-Chorus
So why this emptiness?
This soulless pain and regret
With this Rosetta Stone
Why do I feel so alone?
Chorus
Is that what you call this Utopia?
You must be blind to call this Utopia
Verse
This new universe
A blessing or a curse?
Our hearts are on our sleeves
Feeding their machine
Lose all our will to theirs
And no one seems to care
Exploiting our most sacred secrets
Pre-Chorus
Guess I should not complain
I still have you to keep me sane
For if I did not have you
I don’t know what the hell I’d do
Chorus
Is that what you call this Utopia?
You must be blind to call this Utopia
Bridge
All we’ve ever loved or hated
All we’ve destroyed or created
Everything we do in this harsh new paradigm
Is cast in electronic stone for all time
Chorus
Is that what you call this Utopia?
You must be blind to call this Utopia
Music and lyrics by Ellefson
Verse
Something’s got a hold of me, can’t get it out of my mind
Turn it over round and round, answers are not what I find
So many things I can’t believe are happening every day
Crazy is the new normal, and it seems like it’s here to stay
Chorus
Come sit with me and stay a while
We’ll let it go and share a smile
Verse
A vision of a better world is fading away from my eyes
Don’t leave me now. I need your hope before the last of mine dies
Don’t wanna dream of better days, or joy that used to be mine
Where have they gone? We need them now and someone just to be kind
Chorus
Come sit with me and stay a while
We’ll let it go and share a smile
Verse
Reality distortion fields are tearing the world all apart
Fear and loathing reign supreme, wounding us all in the heart
The world is full of great ideas. We don’t always have to agree
The world is for both you and me. Why don’t we just let it be?
Chorus
Come sit with me and stay a while
We’ll let it go and share a smile
Music and lyrics by Ellefson
Verse
I don’t want to hear what you say anymore
The truth is nowhere to be found
You’ll do anything to deceive
And I am a fool to believe
I lost all my faith in your heart
Your path leads into the dark
But I will no longer follow you and your lies
Chorus
I cannot believe in you anymore
Your soul is pure evil down to the core
Verse
You want to enslave all the world with your views
I feel like I’m in a noose
Power is all that you crave
Cause you are corrupt and depraved
Never accepting the blame
For pain inflicted in a name
Or all the bias that you inflame
Chorus
I cannot believe in you anymore
Your soul is pure evil down to the core
I will not believe in you anymore
Your heart is pure evil down to the core
Bridge
You don’t have a clue, about the truth, or what is real
It’s all just one big show, reap what you sow, this pain I feel
You, you feel no shame, it’s just game, but not to me
Hope is all I know, I’ve let you go, and now I’m free
Verse
You cast all your stones from a house made of glass
You sound devoid of any class
Trying to play on my fears
Tell me what I want to hear
You don’t even mean what you say
Leading us all astray
Promises that you made have fallen away
Chorus
I cannot believe in you anymore
Your soul is pure evil down to the core
I will not believe in you anymore
Your heart is pure evil down to the core
Music and lyrics by Ellefson/Breedlove
Verse
My face is looking back at me
But I’m not the one I see
How did this horror come to be?
I’d never do or say these things
Yet all the world believes
These deep fake images are me
Chorus
Objectify, commodify, digitize, and synthesize
Our thirst for being seen, is costing our humanity
Objectify, commodify, digitize, and synthesize
Is this who I became? Another online infamy?
Verse
Everyone I know has seen these lies
I now kiss my life goodbye
As my reputation dies
There’s no path to clear my name
Or a person I can blame
In this impersonation game
Chorus
Objectify, commodify, digitize, and synthesize
Our thirst for being seen, is costing our humanity
Objectify, commodify, digitize, and synthesize
Is this who I became? Another online infamy?
Bridge
This face I see is not my own
This voice I hear is not my own
Music and lyrics by Ellefson/Breedlove
Verse
You say it gets better, but I can’t wait that long
Save me now. Don’t lead me on
Nothing’s what we were told. And everything’s gone wrong
So how can I believe you now?
Chorus
My prayers fall on deaf ears again
I feel like a fool to trust a liar
Who promised me an end
To this emptiness within
Upon deaf ears I cry again
I feel like a fool to trust a liar
Who promised me an end
To this emptiness within
Verse
You really think you’ve helped me, but you’re too blind to see
Right in front of you. My reality
You offer me a vague hope. To me it’s just empty
I need help now. What can I do?
Chorus
My prayers fall on deaf ears again
I feel like a fool to trust a liar
Who promised me an end
To this emptiness within
Upon deaf ears I cry again
I feel like a fool to trust a liar
Who promised me an end
To this emptiness within
Bridge
If I disappeared tomorrow
There’s a million more like me
Looking for a way to live life free
Chorus
Our prayers fall on deaf ears again
Feel like a fool to trust a liar
Who promised us an end
To this emptiness within
Upon deaf ears we cry again
Feel like a fool to trust a liar
Who promised us an end
To this emptiness within
Music by Ellefson/Breedlove
Lyrics by Breedlove/Ellefson
Verse
Night after sleepless night the voices ring
Haunting my mind, reminding me of every sin
Bridge
Time and again I called your name in my darkest hours
I’m here for you to do the same. Reclaim your power
Chorus
Look deep in my eyes
You don’t need to hide
Or run away, run away, run away
Together we’ll dry
All these tears that we cry
Don’t run away, run away, run away
Verse
Give me a chance to help you, give me a sign
Like it’s always been with our souls intertwined
Bridge
I fear you’ll pull away and destroy all that we have
Come back to stand beside me, together we rise
Chorus
Look deep in my eyes
You don’t need to hide
Or run away, run away, run away
Together we’ll dry
All the tears that we’ve cried
Don’t run away, run away, run away
Don’t leave us this way
How many times can I say
Don’t run away, run away, run away
Together we’ll dry
All these tears that we cry
Don’t run away, run away, run away
Chorus
Look deep in my eyes
You don’t need to hide
Or run away, run away, run away
Together we’ll dry
All the tears that we’ve cried
Don’t run away, run away, run away
Music and lyrics by Ellefson
Verse
I don’t know how you sleep at night
All your dreams must be full of fright
In the light you seem so pure and free
Darkness falls, you become obscene
Chorus
Why can’t you see that it’s not alright to be
Lost and alone in your dark reality?
Come free
Verse
Your illusions are just causing pain
Will intervention just end in vain?
In the fight you’ve lost your way to me
Darkness falls and you cannot come clean
Chorus
Why can’t you see that it’s not alright to be
Lost and alone in your dark reality
Why can’t you see that you’re everything to me?
Dying to be free from your dark reality
Verse
I’m amazed you can face the day
Living lies won’t wash your sins away
In the night you seek your destiny
Darkness falls, I can hear your screams
Chorus
Why can’t you see that it’s not alright to be
Lost and alone in your dark reality
Why can’t you see that you’re everything to me?
Dying to be free from your dark reality
Music and lyrics by Ellefson
Verse
I’ll die before my time or so I have been told
The hands to comfort me instead have left me cold
The walls I built since then are killing me somehow
Your touch could save me, but no one can touch me now
Chorus
As I leave you, don’t you cry
There is time for me to fly
Come away from this land of wrongs
Where in death I linger on
Verse
Too young for lust I was an object of desire
No justice found when all think I am a liar
I didn’t mean for you to hear the truth this way
I didn’t mean to leave the world and you today
Chorus
As I leave you, don’t you cry
There is time for me to fly
Come away from this land of wrongs
Where in death I linger on
Verse
The darkness in my heart left no place for the light
The poison in my veins has robbed me of the fight
I should’ve told you when I had a heart to try
You could’ve heard my cries
Chorus
As I leave you, don’t you cry
There is time for me to fly
Come away from this land of wrongs
Where in death I lingered on
Ending
I said no
I said no
I said no
I said no
Music and lyrics by Ellefson
Verse
The guests are coming in, like the tide, to see you on your way
They seat themselves in rows, side by side, to mourn for you this day
They listen to the priest, bless your name, and pray to God for you
A safe and speedy way, from this game, to where you have gone to
Verse
I don’t know if you’re bound for heaven or hell
Too late to bargain now, no soul left to sell
You look so peaceful there, no sign of the truth
Did you fulfill your dreams, or lose them in your youth?
Verse
I look down on your face, wondering, where did we go wrong?
Fighting through the pain, struggling, to continue on
Our lives had just begun, mattering, now you’ve gone away
The end has come for your suffering, mine is here to stay
Verse
I wish you were alive so we could live on
My heart was bound to yours so now mine is gone
The flowing sands of time for you are no more
Will we ever meet again? Did Death seal the door?
Bridge
I feel as though I can see you now
Back from the dead, I don’t know how
What do you want? Did you really come back for me?
Am I dreaming or is this real?
Taking your hand would seal the deal
Should I stay or leave for eternity?
Bridge
My heart is on fire with this pain
Sick with desire, am I sane?
Not ready to die from my tears
I open my eyes, you’re not here
Verse
The guests are leaving now, to go on, living out their days
My search begins anew, to belong, and find another way
My heart still aches for some, way to find, a meaning for it all
Without an answer or, peace of mind, will I be next to fall?
Music by Ellefson
Music and lyrics by Ellefson
Verse
Sometimes the things I say aren’t as clear as how they seem
Just look behind the words to hear what I really mean
When I speak in double meanings, you all ignore my clues
Can’t you hear them screaming out to choose which one’s more true?
No more reasons are left to give, but still you ask me why
I can’t tell you of the truth for fear you’ll say I lie
Written off as too young to count, all the signs are just ignored
The price for understanding is a loss I can’t afford
Chorus
Tell me where did I go wrong?
No more can I be torn
Tell me where did I go wrong?
No heart have I to mourn, anymore
Verse
All along the path I tread, I wander aimlessly
No way to set me right, I’m lost to misery
Where are the dreams where I can fly and be free?
This nightmare has me trapped in shattered destiny
Chorus
Tell me where did I go wrong?
No more can I be torn
Tell me where did I go wrong?
No heart have I to mourn
Verse
I’ve lost hold of my own mind
My hopes I can’t seem to find
No more can I pay the toll
It seems I’ve lost my soul
Through it all, no one would answer my cries
When I’m gone, maybe then you’ll realize
Verse
My eyes fill with my despair
Tears flee from the horrors there
Soon they will forever stare
Because I’m no longer there
Through it all, no one would answer my cries
When I’m gone, maybe then you’ll realize
Verse
And now my time slips away
I welcome my end of days
But I do not see the light
Just empty endless night
Through it all, no one would answer my cries
Now I’m gone, maybe you will realize
You never saw the signs
Music and lyrics by Ellefson
Verse
See my body there, lying on the floor
This life ended now. I had wanted more
It is too late? To change this dark fate?
I’m floating high above. Oh God, what have I done?
Chorus
Two lights beckon me.
Which one leads to peace?
Two lights beckon me.
Which one sets me free?
Verse
I see the ones I love, calling out to me
Swirling round my soul, darkness falls from me
I am still torn. This life reborn?
Must escape from here. Which way to move on?
Chorus
Two lights beckon me.
Which one leads to peace?
Two lights beckon me.
Which one sets me free?
Music by Ellefson/Breedlove. Lyrics by Breedlove
Verse
I feel so small
In your eyes
These eyes are my hell
I bet it all
On your lies
Your words cast a spell
Chorus
An incantation
The beast, he hides within these walls
A conjuration
He bears his claws, and the walls fall down
Verse
I’m going numb
Fear is gone
Tears of rage fill my eyes
The beast arrives
From deep within
Conjured by your lies
Chorus
An incantation
The beast, he hides within these walls
A conjuration
He bears his claws, and the walls fall down
Interlude
Alone in silence
An empty hollow soul
A verse my mother taught me gives me pause:
“Vengeance is mine”
Chills rush my spine
Verse
Your hollow eyes
A hint of fear
Shed their facade
The beast, he hides
He’ll rise again
To mock the wrath of God
Chorus
An incantation
The beast, he hides within these walls
A conjuration
He bears his claws, and the walls fall down